The Next Breath is All You Have – Live Mindfully

now

No matter where you’re heading, what future you are creating and attracting into your life, you have to start from where you are. In fact, right now, the present moment, is all you have.

Close your eyes for a moment and breathe in. Hold that breath for a moment before you let it out slowly. One of the lessons inherent in living mindfully is that each breath is, potentially, your last. Paying attention to the here and now recognizes the immense importance of the present moment.

While it’s tempting to spend your time daydreaming of your future and working towards your goals, it’s really a terrible waste of a life. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan of day-dreaming and I believe it is essential to a creative life. I am a die-hard daydreamer.

But your life is made up of the ‘now moments’. If you walk through life looking only up ahead at tomorrow, next week, next year, you lose sight of the gift that your life is right here and now.

Some people spend a great deal of time dwelling on the past; chewing on what happened like a cow chews its cud and wishing for what might have been. In reality, your past is what created the magnificent creature that you are right now. Your wisdom is the result of your experience and whether you look back on your past with pleasure or regret, it has led you to the point where you are right now.

There is something called the Fibonacci Recurrence Series of Whole Numbers.  I was introduced to this by Michael Galileo.  Normally I avoid anything that sounds like math but this makes perfect sense and it’s not really that hard to understand.  Here is the Fibonacci Recurrence Series:  0,1,1,2,3,5,8, 13,21,34,55,89….  Every number is the sum of the two numbers before it.  If you think of them as seconds, starting with the moment you were conceived and adding up, one by one, until now, the final number is the cumulative value of all your seconds so far and adds up to the person you are now.  Every second is of value because has contributed to who you are right now.

Unfortunately, most of us let those seconds roll by without any thought.  We live life unconsciously without using the power that we have to create our life.

I once received an email just at the right moment to help me make a major life decision and move on from a bad situation. It asked me to imagine my life as a book. All of the pages up to right now are written in, filled with the story of my life until now. It contains all the joy, all the pain, all the mistakes, all the triumphs. Then I was asked to imagine turning the page to today and looking down on a beautiful, spotless white page, completely empty. It asked me to consider, did I want to cut and paste from the previous pages? Or did I want to fill the empty pages with a new story? It was a transformative moment. I realized I was in that difficult situation because I kept repeating the same behaviours over and over again. It was such a compelling thought that I immediately got up and made the call I needed to make to end the uncomfortable situation and stop the cycle.

Right now, you have that choice. Are you going to cut and paste and repeat your past? Or are you going to write a new story.

That new story starts right now, with the very next breath you take, the very next second you are alive. You can’t skip a few pages and start in the future. You start right now to live the life you want to live, to create the life that you were meant to live.  Live it consciously.

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Staying positive when sad things happen…

tinfoilman1080x720Yesterday, we all woke up to the terrible news that someone had opened fire with an assault rifle in the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, killing 50 and injuring 53. It was a cold and windy day here and I was already inclined towards wrapping myself in a blanket and spending the day on the couch watching tv while nursing hot tea and high-carb snacks. I hadn’t intended to stay tuned into CNN and other news channels for the entire day, but that’s what I did. I watched and cried with the nation; both nations-Canada and the US; and probably most of the news-watching world.

And then when I came to my blog this morning, intending to look for old posts related to my book, The Seven Day Mental Diet, because I’m in the process of revising for the second edition, I came across this old post:

“Did you hear the news this morning?  A gunman opened fire near the Empire State Building.  Two people, including the shooter, were killed and eight were injured.  And did you hear that Hurricane Isaac is bashing the Dominican Republic and heading for Florida?  And did you hear about the murder and dismemberment case in Toronto this week?”

I went on to say:

“We are inundated with horror and bloodshed.  It’s like we are living in a 3D horror movie.  Full color (mainly blood-red) and screaming and sirens in Surround Sound.  Is that where you want to live?  Not me!”

I am on the Seven Day Mental Diet, which means that I cannot harbor negative thoughts for a full seven days. Negative thoughts come to me, but if I harbor them, allow them to stick around, I just start the seven days over again.  Today, because I not only harbored negative thoughts yesterday, I wallowed in them, I am starting over.

Our world and our reality is composed of what we see and allow into our awareness.  Unfortunately, with the 24/7 negativity we are being force-fed by the media and by the Internet, our reality can become one of unrelenting horror and negativity.  It’s like we are seeing the world through a funhouse mirror—distorted.  We can easily start to believe that killing and fraud and hate and cheating and stealing are the norm rather than the exception. Is that what you believe?  If it is, then it will become your reality.  That’s the nature of the universe and perception.

We don’t have to accept that.  We can turn our attention to the good things that are happening. We can think about the over 600 people who lined up for hours to donate blood for the victims needing surgery. We can think of the brave people who rush toward the chaos to help, rather than running away. We hear of brave people like that every day but it’s hard sometimes to find those stories in the middle of the cesspool of negative news.

There are two important reasons to be more selective about what we focus on:

First of all, from the point of view of our own mental health, how can it be healthy to wallow in evil and violence?  It’s like going down to a pond in the woods on a hot day.   One pond is clear and clean and spring fed.  One is an algae filled swamp that receives water from the nearby sewage plant.  Which would you choose to swim in?  Why do you choose to swim in the mental and emotional equivalent of that swamp every day?

Secondly, we must remember that our thoughts are energy and through that energy we are connected to every other thing in the universe.  We have the power to send energy and affect the well-being of our fellow travellers in this life. It’s an awesome power and an awesome responsibility. At this time more than ever we need to be aware of that power and use it for good.

I am not suggesting that you clap your hands over your ears and start going ‘lalalalala’ to drown out any sound of negativity.  We can’t cover ourselves in tin foil to reflect back the negative energy. The reality is that there are bad things happening.  We just don’t have to allow them to take up residence in our minds.

It is impossible to eradicate a thought from your mind unless you fill the space with something else.   If you say to yourself, “I won’t think about how awful it must have been to be in the nightclub when that man started shooting.”  You are going to continue to think about that until you replace that thought with something else.

That is called the ‘Law of Substitution’.  Your conscious mind can only focus on one thought at a time and you can make a deliberate decision to substitute one thought for another.  The Law of Substitution allows you to crowd out negative thoughts by replacing them with a more positive thought.

So you can make a choice to think about the fact that most people are good and are rising up to oppose the bigots, racists and terrorists. That good can overcome evil. That the light can push away the darkness just as it does every morning when the sun rises.

What positive thing can you choose to focus on to crowd out the negative news? What do you do when sad things happen?

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Need Some Motivation? How About a Blast from the Past?

mailbox

You probably have a few goals you’d like to accomplish in the next year. Here’s an idea that I liked to incorporate into my goal-getters and vision board workshops years ago.

Right now, get out a piece of paper and an envelope and write a letter to your future self—the you that you will be in exactly one year.  Date it with today’s date and congratulate yourself on achieving your goals.  Here’s a short example (your letter will probably be longer depending on how many goals you have set for yourself):

 

“Dear Me,

Well, here we are, enjoying the summer sun on our great new deck.  It was a lot of work getting it built and dealing with contractors but so worth it!  I love sitting out here on my bright Adirondack chairs, listening to the birds and the little waterfall in the pond and watching the hummingbirds around the feeder.  I’m really enjoying this.

And I want to congratulate you on your new healthier lifestyle.  You did great losing that last 25 pounds.  Working out regularly with the trainer has really helped up your fitness level and now it seems easy to stay on track.  So fun to have all new clothes too.

Stay true to yourself,

Love, Me  xox”

When I had people in my workshops do this, I gave them a sheet of paper or sometimes even a beautiful blank card and an envelope.  Depending on where the workshop was held, I would play some nice music or send them off into the woods to write to themselves.  Then they would put the letter into the envelope, address it to themselves, seal it and give it to me.  Then, a year later, I would send it to them.

After receiving their blast from the past in the mail, people would contact me and tell me how nice it was to receive a letter from the past.  They told me that, if they had achieved their goals it was a real pat on the back.  If they hadn’t, it renewed their commitment and sometimes was enough to get them back on track.

If you’re doing it for yourself, you’ll have to put a note in your calendar to remind yourself to open your letter a year from now.  Or give it to a trusted friend to mail to you.

By the way, not only is it fun and a great motivator, the actual process of imagining yourself in your ideal future is a powerful tool in manifestation.  By seeing the future you want to create, in as much detail as possible, with all the warm and fuzzies attached to that future, you are activating the Law of Attraction and creating Future Pull.  For a more detailed explanation and to learn more powerful tools, read my book, Future Pull.

Photo credit

 

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My Favorite 13 Tips for Reaching Your Goals

DUMBgraphicIn honor of Friday the Thirteenth (the only one this year!) I present:  my favorite 13 tips for Reaching Your Goals.

Tip 1: Set a DUMB Goal

The usual acronym for goal-setters is SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-Defined.  But really?  Do those words inspire you to greatness? No!  So I say forget SMART goals. Set DUMB goals instead. Daring! Unlimited! Magnificent! Bold!

Don’t get me wrong here.  You still want your DUMB goals to be specific and all those other things but to inspire you to take action, you want them to be daring, unlimited, magnificent and bold.

Tip 2: Ask Yourself: Is it Your Own Goal?

Give birth to your own goals instead of adopting those of others. You have your own dreams and aspirations–go for them.  Too often we just take on goals that we think we should have.  They are worthy and society or family or friends sanctioned.  If you find that your goals just aren’t getting you out of bed in the morning, maybe it’s because they aren’t really what you want.

Tip 3: Believe!

Doubt will squelch your ability to manifest your dreams. Belief will take you to new heights.  If every time you voice your goal, a little inner voice reminds you that it probably won’t happen, your powerful manifestation powers are being diminished.  Whether that nagging voice is coming from your own doubts or from outer doubters like friends or family, silence it!

Tip 4: Start with your Ideal Day

What does your Ideal Day look and feel like? Describe it, write it out, visit your future life every day.  Having a problem coming up with DUMB goals that make you jump out of bed eager to get going? Then start with visualizing your Ideal Day, in detail, in the first person.  Then analyze it to identify what is essential to your perfect life, important, or just nice to have.  Those are the starting points for setting DUMB goals.

Tip 5: Set a Clear Intention

Turn your dream into a goal with a clear intention. What will it look and feel like when you achieve it?  The feeling is what is key here.  Visualize achieving your goal and experience the feeling of reaching it.  Make it real.  Make it specific.

Tip 6:  Know the Difference Between a Dream and a Goal

Know the difference between a dream and a goal. A dream is: I wish I was rich!  A DUMB. goal is: I will double my income to $140,000 by the end of this year.  A dream is wispy and vague. A goal will be clear and specific and you’ll know when you have achieved it.

Tip 7: Don’t be Wimpy

Don’t be wimpy.  Dream big and set DUMB goals.  Or why bother?  “I’d like to have a decent car someday” is wimpy.  “My next car is going to be a Mini Cooper convertible” is a DUMB goal.  Make it even more powerful.  Go to the dealership and have someone take your picture sitting in your future car.

Tip 8: Create Habits

Make it easy to achieve your goal. Build habits and systems that lead you there no matter what else is going on.  It’s fairly easy to stick to a plan when all is going well and you’re not stressed or tired or overwhelmed.  But when faced with challenges, habits and automatic systems and responses will keep you on track till you get your equilibrium back.

Tip 9: Create a Vision Board

A vision board will help you stayed focused and keep your eye on the prize. Not just for the woo woo factor.  Even if you don’t believe in the Law of Attraction, a vision board works because it signals your reticular activating system (RAS) in your brain to notice things that are aligned with your goals.

Tip 10: Celebrate the Small Wins

Set milestones and reward yourself for achieving them. Celebrate the small wins.  Research shows that small wins will help you to continue working towards your goals.  If you set small goals or milestones, you will be able to recognize that you’re making progress.  A key ingredient in staying motivated.

Tip 11: Keep a Ta-Da List

Forget the to-do list.  Keep a ta-da list instead.  It’s more fun and keeps you motivated. Instead of making a list of things to do each day, keep a record of what you do as you do it.  You’ll be amazed at how much you accomplish.  It’s much more satisfying than looking at a long to-do list and worrying about whether you’ll get to the end of it.

Tip 12: Join a MasterMind

Join a MasterMind group—a source for accountability, ideas, support and solutions.  Some of the greatest goal achievers in history have been members of a MasterMind. Follow their example.

Tip 13: Enjoy the Journey

Reaching your goal is a blast, but don’t forget to enjoy the journey.  Don’t live life on the layaway plan, waiting for success (whatever that looks like) before you allow yourself to be happy.

 

 

Posted in 1 Month + 1 Goal, goal-setting, ideal day, intention, Law of Attraction, Uncategorized, vision boards | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Sometimes It Just Depends on Your POV

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This morning as I was riding the bus to work, I stared out of the window and listened to a conversation going on behind me.  I was standing and looking out of the window on the left side of the bus.  In the distance were some very threatening clouds on the horizon and I was thinking that it looked like we were in for rain later—maybe even thunderstorms.

I heard one of the conversants behind me ask, “Think it’s going to be a nice day today?”  The other person replied, “Looks like it.  Beautiful clear sky.  I predict it’s going to be a beautiful summer day.”

I was wondering if the couple behind me were making a joke.  I considered that maybe they were applying the Law of Attraction and trying to affirm a great day into being.  I couldn’t resist.  I had to turn around to see who these people were.

So as soon as it was possible without looking like I was deliberately turning to look at them, I shuffled around with the next influx of new riders and took a look.  Two perfectly normal looking people who were also holding on to the overhead hanging things and staring out the window—the window on the right of the bus.  I took a look out of that window too and – WOW!  It was a beautiful day on that side of the bus.  Not a cloud in the sky!  From their point of view, I too would have predicted a beautiful summer day.

I started to think about how often our point of view affects our expectations and our mood.  Admittedly, changing our point of view of most situations is not as easy as looking out of a different window.  And let’s face it, sometimes we just don’t want to change our point of view.  Sometimes we just want to wallow.

But next time you feel like all you see is gray and negative, try changing your perspective.  See if you can turn around and look at it from a new angle.   Try on a new point of view.

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How to be an Inspiration – The Short List

inspire

Let me ask you a question.  Who inspires you?

A famous, perhaps iconic figure?  Perhaps Prince–who just sadly died yesterday and is top of everyone’s mind?  A great humanitarian like Gandhi or Mother Theresa? A parent or some other friend or relative? Sadly so many people are not recognized as inspirational until they leave us.  Why is that?

But now let me ask you this….are you an inspiration to others?  Have you filled someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something? Do you exert an animating, enlivening or exalting influence? Do you spur others on?  And are you doing that right now—while you’re alive and kicking?  Before you leave us?  Has anyone ever told you that you inspired them?  What a great compliment, honor and responsibility.

Now let me just state for the record that the following list is strictly out of my head – not the result of any scientific research or deep philosophical thought.  However, I humbly admit that some people have said that I have inspired them in some way and I think these are the reasons that people have said this. So this is my short list of the qualities that I think are essential if you want to be considered an inspiration.

1.Be Yourself.  Be Authentic

Copycats are not inspiring.  Prince was the genuine article.  A unique artist who stood out in the over-crowded world of aspiring musicians.  I, although not inspiring like Prince, am definitely ‘just me’.  I couldn’t be someone else if I tried.

2. Be Enthusiastic.

Enthusiasm is infectious.  If you are excited and bubbling over with ideas, you will give others permission to give their imagination free rein.  I am nothing if not enthusiastic, about almost everything.  At least for a while.  Maintaining my enthusiasm is more of a challenge for me but wow, I am an endless fountain of ideas and I can usually get excited about the possibilities of all of them.

3. Be Brave.

It’s not enough to just have an idea; you have to be courageous enough to pursue it –or at least explore it.  Okay, I admit bravery is a two-edged sword.  I think some people may say I’m brave; others would say I’m a risk-taker; others might say I’m just stupid.  A good thing I’m also lucky!

What do you think are the key ingredients you need to be considered inspirational?

Have you been called inspirational?

Please tell us why.  Be brave—blow your own horn!

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Never Underestimate the Power of a Good Idea

Sometimes one idea can have the power to change your life–if you let it.  Back in 1981, I was almost destitute – unemployed, a single parent and very worried about how I was going to feed myself and my 8 year old son. I still had dreams and goals but they were seemed like distant fairytales.

Since childhood, I had wanted to be a writer and I decided to enter a writing competition sponsored by a national magazine.  The entry had to be typed but I didn’t have a typewriter. So I took the leap of faith and rented one for the princely cost of $15 and entered the competition.  I didn’t win the competition, but I gained so much more.

You see, after entering the contest, I started to regret paying the $15 for the typewriter.  But I’m never short of ideas and this time I had a life-changing one!

I thought perhaps I could type papers for students and make back my $15.  At the time, student typing was a big opportunity and it paid $1 a page.  I wasn’t a very good typist but I figured I could type 15 pages to make back my investment.  I put a sign up at the university and got a bite.  I spent the next weekend huddled over my coffee table, typing a 70 page forestry paper.  It literally took all weekend.  Luckily there was a snowstorm and I had nowhere else to go.

When I got that $70 in payment I was ecstatic!  I saw potential!  That one idea turned into little home-based business that supported myself and my son for years.  It led to a resume writing sideline, a career coaching business, speaking engagements, workshop contracts, and eventually grew into a business that had $500,000 in contracts in one year and employed 12 people.

So the next time you have an idea – even if it seems outlandish or far-fetched, don’t dismiss it out of hand.  At least give it some thought and explore its potential.  You never know when one little idea might be the one to change your life.

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I’m Back….continued with lessons learned

In late May 2013 I arrived in Ottawa, dog and cat in tow, boxes enroute via a moving truck, ready to begin my new life.

I went straight to my son’s house and he came with me to the apartment I had rented in Westboro. As an interesting side note, recently I was sent a list of the Top 8 Worst Places to Move to in Canada; Thunder Bay was #8. The same webpage also has a list of the Top 10 Neighbourhoods to Move to in Canada; Westboro was #10. While it’s interesting, I don’t really agree. Thunder Bay was my home for 38 years and, as I’ve mentioned before, if I had stayed in Toronto instead of moving north, I doubt if I would have made all the positive changes that I did in those years. But back to the story…

My new apartment was in an old triplex and I was on the middle floor. It had hardwood floors, three bedrooms, and was full of character. It was also in an amazing neighbourhood which was probably why it was so expensive. I could walk my dog along a bike path one block away or along Richmond Street just a few steps away. Everything I could possibly want or need was available in that few blocks of Richmond; four blocks encompassing 18 restaurants or coffee shops, a Lululemon that had free yoga on Sunday mornings, a Mountain Equipment Coop, a Superstore, an LCBO, Roots, and numerous trendy boutiques. Only a few blocks away was the Ottawa River and the Parkway where they close down traffic on Sunday mornings for walkers and cyclists. There was also a real beach, although I didn’t actually find that till the end of the summer.

My new work location was downtown right beside the Rideau Canal, the longest skating rink in the world in the winter. It was close to Rideau Centre, the National Arts Centre, and Confederation Park where they have the ice festival in the winter and weekly festivals in the summer.

Sounds perfect, right? It was!

But I was lonely and soon became a bit depressed.

I missed my house. I had no temperature controls in my apartment and it had no air conditioning and believe me, in Ottawa, you need air conditioning. It was too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter. I had no balcony or back yard. And, OMG! The noise from the people upstairs! I had to walk my dog every day – three times a day. That was a bad thing/good thing situation because walking the dog forced me to get outside and get exercise.

I had to take the transit to work; another bad thing/good thing situation because I got exercise.

I saw my son and grandchildren weekly because his in-laws were kind people who hosted a family dinner every week. That was a good thing – nothing bad about that at all, after all it was why I moved.

The place I had been assigned to work was in a back room, all by myself, with inadequate work space. It was cold, dark, and lonely and ergonomically challenging. As a result, I often worked from home; another good thing/bad thing. Nice to work from home—sometimes—but very lonely.

And that was my biggest challenge. I was lonely. I missed my friends and my life in Thunder Bay. But to be honest, that wasn’t a surprise. I had expected that because I remembered that it took me a while to make friends and fit in when I moved to Thunder Bay in the first place. But knowing something is natural and knowing it will change doesn’t help when you are actually struggling with depression.

My life wasn’t looking like my ideal day—yet.

Living in a really cool neighbourhood in Ottawa—check!

In a modern, spacious, open-concept apartment with beautiful art on the walls and no clutter—not yet.

Working downtown and enjoying all that our National Capital had to offer—not yet, although I could be if the space was better.

Hours playing with Henry and Jack and having dinner with my family—check!

I was at least on the road to the life of my dreams.

The people I worked with were very nice; friendly, welcoming and helpful. Even they wondered why I had been banished to the back corner when there were perfectly good cubicles filled with scrapped computers and junk. They actually took the lead to get me a space in one of the under-used cubicles and by Christmas I was in a bright spacious space with a view of beautiful downtown Ottawa.

Working downtown—check!

A friend, when I shared that I was depressed, suggested I try Meetup.com as a way of making new friends and getting out. So I joined the Arts and Culture Junkies on Meetup and started going to art gallery crawls, dinners at local venues and pay-what-you-can nights at the National Arts Centre.

Enjoying all that our National Capital had to offer—check!

I decided to look for a new place to try to bring my living space closer to that pictured in my ideal day. Ever since I had moved into my apartment, I had been watching a new condo being built right across the road. One morning I looked out at my view of the construction and saw a new sign: 2 and 3 bedroom apartments for rent. What? I thought it was a condo? So I went over and chatted up the project manager and he let me in to the unfinished building to take a look. I ended up being the first person to actually rent—I had my choice of apartments and I chose one on the top floor with a huge balcony. It was perfect!

Modern, spacious, open-concept apartment with maple floors, an ensuite, in-suite washer and dryer, and big windows—check!

I already had the beautiful art on the walls and I had bought all new furniture when I arrived. And it was still in my favorite neighbourhood—check!

Also, although I haven’t mentioned this before, my ideal day usually had some kind of romantic interest in it. A kind, intelligent, funny, respectful, sexy man with a whole list of other wonderful attributes—not yet. But I know that I have to work on myself at this point, so that I attract someone wonderful and I’m ready to receive when he shows up. To that end I am taking action towards feeling attractive and ready to be in a relationship. Since this time last year, I’ve lost over 60 pounds and I’m slimmer now than I was when I moved to Thunder Bay in the 1970s. It’s a bonus that my new healthy diet gives me the energy I need to enjoy my new life.

So here I am, living the life I had visualized, proving once again that the Law of Attraction does work and all the tools I talked about in my book do work, sometimes in spite of ourselves. And what have I learned from this experience?

  1. Be very specific about what you want to appear in your life because it will appear.
  2. Give it time. Sometimes you want the road to be straight from ‘thinking’ to ‘getting’ but it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes the road is a little more twisty. If you just relax and trust, and keep driving, you’ll get there. You might as well enjoy the route because there probably is a purpose. For example, if I hadn’t been living across the road watching this apartment being built, I would never have gotten into the building, and for sure not in one of the few penthouse suites.
  3. Quit worrying! Will I never learn this? Because here I am now, 16 months from retirement worrying about what to do so that I don’t end up homeless on the street. As usual, being a bit dramatic.  Worrying is such a useless waste of energy.
  4. People are good. I always knew and believed this but this experience has reinforced it. So many wonderful people have helped me along the way—from the people at work who spoke to other people so I would be able to move out of the back dungeon, to the people I meet walking my dog every day and who have become my friends.

So that’s why I’ve been away. I’ve been working with the Universe, using the power of Future Pull and the Law of Attraction to create the life of my dreams. But I’m not finished—it’s a work in progress.

Stay tuned.

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I’m Back! Where I’ve been and what I’ve learned

Wow, I haven’t posted since October 5, 2012. Ironically, that last post was on getting side-tracked. Have you wondered where I’ve been? What I’ve been doing? Well thank you for your thoughts.   A lot has happened since then and yes, I was side-tracked by real life changes. Let me bring you up to date and tell you why I’ve been gone.

I’ve been busy putting the Law of Attraction to the test and I have to say, it performed masterfully.

At the end of August 2012, my second grandson, Henry, was born. Of course, I took a trip down to Ottawa to greet him and fell in love. I was already in love with my first grandson, Jack, and had been talking about moving there ‘someday’, maybe when I retire.

When I got home, I laid around kind of mopey and wondered why I was still living 1400 km away from my only son and my grandchildren. I believe there were several reasons why I hadn’t taken any action to move closer.

First of all, I have noticed that some people become like a big barnacle attached to their children’s lives. I didn’t want to be a barnacle. My belief was that I did my best to give him a good start and then sent him out to sail his own journey through life. That’s not to say a parent can’t live closer and be part of their children’s lives, but since I’ve always been a single parent and John is my only son, I was a bit concerned about being intrusive and needy.

Second, even if you did want to become a barnacle, you have to wait till they settle down or you’ll be going through constant upheaval, moving around, until they do. At this point, John was definitely settled in Ottawa; great job, great wife, a home, and two new children. So that reason wasn’t really valid anymore.

The third reason, and probably the biggest, was fear. I was afraid to mess up my life. I had a house in Thunder Bay, a good job, friends, a life. I was afraid I would make this major move and relive the experience of 1976 when I moved to Thunder Bay. You can read about that pitiful story here.

I say that a bit tongue in cheek because while it was a very depressing time for a year or so, in the end, it was the best thing I could have done. The great life I had in 2012 was made possible by my big move in 1976. So, I was afraid to sell my house and start all over.   Yeah, yeah, I believed all the Law of Attraction stuff and had plenty of evidence in my own life that it worked, but obviously my heart was still doubting a bit.

After my trip to Ottawa to meet Henry, I went back to Thunder Bay and announced that I wanted to move to Ottawa. My friends all said, “Yeah, so you’ve said.” They didn’t believe I was serious, and who could blame them.

But this time I was serious. I talked to my boss about a transfer and he got going on it. I am very grateful to him for taking that effort because he certainly didn’t have to and it was a big job. But my manager, my director and the human resources director all got behind me and made it possible. Then of course, I had to actually take action and do what needed to be done on my end.

So I did all the requisite Law of Attraction actions that I talk about in my book, Future Pull – that was the fun part. I daydreamed, I visualized, I made a vision board, I wrote my ideal day. I saw myself living in a really cool neighbourhood in Ottawa, in a modern, spacious, open-concept apartment with beautiful art on the walls and no clutter. I saw myself working downtown and enjoying all that our National Capital had to offer. I saw myself spending hours playing with Henry and Jack and having dinner with my family. That was fun! I could do that forever. But I also had to take some action.

Christmas of 2012, I didn’t take a trip to Ottawa like I usually did. I just worked getting my house ready to sell—painting, de-cluttering, selling stuff, putting other stuff into storage so I could stage my house, getting all the little things done. I put it on the market in February and then went to Ottawa for a few days to check out apartments.

This is where I let some bad habits slide in. I started to worry. If I go back and look at all of the times in my life that were amazing, I would see that they are all, without exception, following a long period of worry and angst. This was no exception. What if my house didn’t sell? What if I couldn’t find a place? How should I get there? What if my car broke down? What if……I don’t know…..I fell into a sinkhole. I don’t need to have rational fears. I’m just as happy with irrational ones.

But my house did sell, within three weeks. I did find an apartment in a wonderful neighbourhood and what’s more, they renovated it for me because I expressed concern about the kitchen. I sold everything—all my furniture and most of my junk.

As usually happens, in spite of my worries, things worked out amazingly well—so many serendipitous things occurred. When I was selling my bed for example, the people who bought it asked if it would be okay if they didn’t pick it up till the next week. I told them no problem because I wasn’t leaving till May anyway. They asked me when in May and when I gave them a date, they asked me if I would like them to leave it until the morning of the day I was leaving. Would I mind?   I was ecstatic! Same thing happened with my couch; it sold but didn’t leave my home till the day before I moved. When I say that I am the luckiest person I know, I can back it up with real life evidence.

I decided to drive down with my dog and cat and have my boxes shipped. I had my car tuned up and checked just to be sure. I got tranquilizers for my dog—okay so that part didn’t work out so well because he barked for the entire three day drive. But I let him live anyway and didn’t dump him at a gas station.

The weather was perfect and I had a nice drive. I arrived just as a small but noticeable earthquake hit Ottawa but I was driving so I didn’t feel it. I was in Ottawa—my new home! Would it turn out as I had visualized? More on that and the lessons learned tomorrow.

Posted in future pull, ideal day, intention, Law of Attraction | Leave a comment

We all get side-tracked–some of us more than others

You’re taking inspired action, watching for the signposts and following the clues. In spite of your best efforts, you might on occasion find that you start to slow down and even begin to doubt that you’re on the right track. You may find that your energy lags. You start to lose focus and get lost in the day to day detritus of your nowadays life. You begin to forget that you have a life waiting for you up ahead. Your future loses the power to pull you.

It happens to all of us–some of us more than others and I certainly count myself in that easily distracted group.

We all have different challenges to deal with. Mine is that I am an ‘idea person’. I am easily distracted by bright shiny objects, fresh new ideas, exciting possibilities. The world is so full of wonderful things and thoughts that I can easily lose focus and head off in another direction. Then something else calls to me and I make another turn and before you know it I’m completely lost and wondering where I’m going and why.

If I want to reach the life I’ve created up ahead, I have to stay focused on my vision and let it pull me towards it. That means that sometimes I have to stop, get rid of distractions, refocus and head out again on the right path.

You may have other challenges that pull you off track. You may be dealing with an inner doubter or limiting beliefs that try to convince you that you can’t achieve your goals. Or outer doubters, like partners, parents, employers or friends who feel that they should ‘warn’ you against what they see as the folly of being unrealistic.

You might be facing some very real issues around basic survival, such as money, employment, health, or relationships. In some cases, it is easy to become overwhelmed with real life concerns and it would be unethical and unrealistic of me to imply that you should ignore them all and just move on blindly towards your goals. If you have to take a job right now to pay the rent, even though it isn’t the job of your dreams, then absolutely you have to do that. If you are faced with a life threatening illness, it would be silly to try to ignore it away. In situations like these, you need to decide the best action for you to take right now, deal with it and resolve it. Then you can refocus and step out again on our path towards your ideal life.

When you get temporarily sidelined while you deal with life issues, your biggest challenge will be not losing hope, not letting doubt and hopelessness take over. When you have to take a brief detour, stay focused on the big picture. Keep that clear compelling vision of your future front and centre so that as the way clears, and it will, you can get back on the path.

Remember that this might be an unexpected turn that will take you closer to your Ideal Day. You often can’t connect the dots and see that everything worked out perfectly until later. Sometimes it’s when you feel most lost that you must just keep walking, keeping a clear vision of your goal, and trusting that the Universe is on your side.

You don’t have control over some things in your day to day life, but you do have absolute control over your attitude and the thoughts you choose to think.

Even when you are faced with seemingly insurmountable problems, that you think you have no control over, you have far more power than you may think. You have control over the most important thing of all. You can choose how you respond. Never think of yourself as a powerless victim. You always choose how the attitude you will take and the thoughts you will think.

Your attitude and thoughts have a remarkable impact on reality and so, ultimately, by choosing your thoughts, you choose your reality. When you feel like you are getting sidelined, ask yourself a few focused questions:

Is this a real detour, or is it a mirage?

Am I just being fooled by fear and doubt into believing that I have to give up my dream?

What is the risk of staying focused on my goals?

What is the worst that could happen if I reject this distraction and stay focused?

What is the risk of putting my dream on the backburner? Am I willing to take that risk?

What decision am I being called on right now to make and what are my options?

Consider these questions as a first step when you are facing potential detours.  They may be all you need to help you refocus, refuel and refresh yourself.

Posted in goal-setting, Law of Attraction, life questions | Tagged , , | 2 Comments